thoughts on a random saturday

what goes through our heads ? sometimes my own thoughts and emotions leave me spell bound, I know what the world is telling me is practical, is real and yet the dream inside me lives on. turning back to look at it hurts but so does letting go. I want to smile and say so what? I know its selfish and i have more valuable treasures to hold on to..
a small accomplishment ..i don't even dream big anymore and yet it feels good..! for a moment i pause, i wish Dad stood with me, i hear the pride in his voice as he would have said my daughter did this..i look back to days when he would drive 6 hours at the drop of a hat just to share my birthday!
i wonder where i will be for my birthday this year..i wonder who will be with me...but i know i have better things to think about!
and reasons to feel happy about and yet .........i wonder.............