hospital course

what do i write in your hospital summary ? should i write bout how difficult it was for her to learn to suck or bout how she gave an uncoordianted smile..and brought a smile on everybody's face..should i write bout the number of medications she was on or should i write bout the number of people who spent all their free time beside her..should i write bout her multiple consults or bout her refusing to b left alone..bout how she had to be fed with a tube or bout how she smiled at me with pride when she pulled the tube out..and took her own decision...should i write about how we dreaded herr losing herr i.v or bout how we looked forward to holding her for just a moment...

sometimes

sometimes in my search for answers i walk to the pier..and i may or may not ifnd answers i always find "joy"....but amazingly enough my answers camr from the birds..they reminded of jonathan livingstone seagull and inspired me to move on..i was so happy..
when the winds of change blow they leave memories behind..

at a loss

never felt this way before..don't know whats on my mind? debating with myself everyday ..
i thought about the story of the blue rose today...i spoke to myself and asked if the blue rose actually existed or was it just a make belief....i wondered ,i dreamt..i knew one thing i loved my work to its core..thos kids were my world its in their smile that i found my true self...i don't want to find answers..don't even want to try...cos i know...........or do i? why the dilemna?what happened to the ever certain me...

life tells u nothing,it shows you everything

a memory

as i held her..she smiled at me...she could not understand my words ..i did not wish to express myself in words..when the entire world failed that 3 month old understood my silence..she gave me a gift i shall treasure forever-a moment i shall always hold close to my heart...in her innocence she touched my life with her little hands and left an indelible imprint...